Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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