She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize