It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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