well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
