Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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