also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize