yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
