i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
