I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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