meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
