all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
