no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
