why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
