I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
