why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
