Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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