My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
