I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
