I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
