I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
