its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
