is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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