do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
