I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I fill condoms, not promises.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
