u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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