I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
