We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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