She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
