he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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