Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she told me i tasted like america
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
