how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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