good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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