it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
