Ambien. No doubt about it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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