I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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