Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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