She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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