well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
