Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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