dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
