Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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