they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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