hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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