she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
