I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Someone signed my nipple.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
