On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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