I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
