Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize