So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
