i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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