I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
