Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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