"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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