So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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