that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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