physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize