Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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