People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
