Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
