Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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