i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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