i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I could make wine with my vomit
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
ttyl tear gas
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
